How to Avoid Fighting When Choosing a Baby Name

Choosing the right name for your baby can be a daunting task and will, at some points, cause friction between you and your partner. Choosing the right name often takes months of effort due to the seemingly infinite amount of names to choose from. At times working with your partner will be frustrating. They’ll have their opinions and you’ll definitely have yours. Sometimes your opinions will mesh, but they’ll often clash. Sometimes the search will seem downright awful. But, you will work through it and well with joy the first time you hold your child and call her by her name! With a little work, and some ground rules, you can avoid a lot of the fighting and work together harmoniously in order to find cool boy names and cute girl names for your child.

Start the naming process as soon as you find out you’re expecting. You’ll need to act quickly because there’s only a brief window of time before the pregnancy hormones will kick in. Start by listing the names you each know you want to be off limits. Names you want off limits might include names that remind you of previous relationships, names of people you knew but don’t like and/or names of fictional characters you don’t like. You and your partner will have different experiences so this will help you avoid fights in the future. You’ll know what names are off limits before getting attached to them. In addition to writing down the names you don’t like, take some time to write out the names you do like. Don’t limit yourself to a specific type of name. It’s okay to like modern baby names, but there might be some old fashioned baby names and unique girl names that really strike your fancy; so don’t limit yourself!

It’s also important to address how you will react to hormonal outbreaks ahead of time. Decide how you’ll react when your partner disagrees with you. Decide what each of your roles will be in the baby naming process in order to create structure. Some (not all) couples find great success dividing the responsibilities, e.g. the mother chooses the first name and the father chooses the middle name (or the reverse), or the mother searches for girls names while the father searches for boys names.

Continue working on your list throughout the duration of the pregnancy. There will be some roadblocks, but because you’ve made a game plan, you’ll know how to address them. Try to keep the process fun and stick to your plan as best as possible. You won’t be able to avoid every fight, and it’s important to remember that’s okay. Remember that most fights regarding names are because you each want the best for your child. If you keep that in mind, it’ll be hard to stay mad at your partner for disagreeing. And just remember, once you’re holding your baby in your arms calling her by her perfect name, it’ll all be worth it.

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